Altars

I'm a very private person, and although I love hearing the secrets of others and feel no more loved than when a friend decides to confide in me her struggles or fears, I seldom share my own.  That's why I've always been a journaler.  Ever since I learned to write, I've been jotting down my thoughts in various notebooks.  Unfortunately, most of the writing has been done in times of crisis, in times of pain, in times when I had no where else to turn except my marbled, worn composition book.  Therefore, when I go back to read my past journals, my life seems to be filled with tragic, depressing events, thoughts or feelings.  I seldom write when good things happen - I'm more of a devastation-journaler.  Yes, writing is a great outlet for yucky feelings, but these journals are my legacy.  I fear my great-grandchildren finding them long after I'm dead and thinking, "Wow, Great-Grandma Cassie was nutso.  And her life pretty much sucked."  Especially when I know that it's not true, and that the glorious, God-kissed moments of my life far outnumber those that turn me upside down. 

At the end of 2009, I decided I was tired of writing this way, from tragedy to tragedy, from pain to pain, from valley to valley.  I was reading a book called "Wild Goose Chase" by Mark Batterson (I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who feels a little stuck or bored in their walk with God.  It will pretty much knock your socks off).  In this book, Batterson talks about how in the Old Testament, God's followers built altars when He did something miraculous or something that they wanted to remember.  When we started our Bible reading plan at the beginning of this year, I began to underline in Genesis every time it said that God's people built altars.  They did it ALL the time! 

Batterson says:

We have a natural tendency to remember what we should forget and forget what we should remember.  Altars help us remember what God doesn't want us to forget.  They give us a sacred place to go back to...  We need altars that renew our faith by reminding us of the faithfulness of God.  And every once in awhile, we need to go back to those sacred places to repent of our sin, renew our covenant with God, and celebrate what God has done.

I decided that in 2010, instead of journaling my drama, I would switch out my journal for a notebook I've simply named "Altars."  In this notebook, I'm recording all of the landmark moments that I experience as I live this year out.  Little things, such as moments of God's favor in safe travels or unexpected money coming my way.  Big moments like today, when 16 couples got married at church and I was honored to participate in the planning of the event.  Moments of thankfulness for the kindness of God in my life. 

Don't get me wrong, there have been times in the first two months of this year that I've wanted to just verbally vomit all over the pages of a notebook, spilling my guts with pen and ink.  It's been challenging to remember to record the good things... I almost have to force myself, as if it was a chore, to make record of the things God has done.  But I know that it will be worth it when, the next time that I feel like I'm in a rough situation, or struggling emotionally, I can open my Altars book and read about the faithfulness of God over and over and over in my life. 

Just wanted to share something new and different that I'm doing this year, and encourage you to do the same!  An altar doesn't have to be written - it can be a picture of a victorious moment, a momento of an event...  It can be anything that takes you back to those times when God has come through for you; anything that reminds you that he did it once, and can certainly (and WILL certainly) do it again.