Repost from my Myspace blog, 4-15-08
I've been thinking a lot about how much I love Jesus. And how unbelievable blessed I am, that God would work in MY life and touch MY family... He's so good to me. I'm full of that feeling of being overwhelmed by undeserved kindness; the breathlessness of being showered with goodness that I didn't see coming...
Those of you who know me very well know that my family has been through a LOT in the past um, ten (?) years. Yikes. It's been a long time, and I just now realized it. Over these past years, at least one, and sometimes all of my immediate family members have been away from the Lord, living as prodigals because of unhealed hurts, bitterness, and pride. This has been really painful for me, especially the decline of my dad's relationship with God, because he's my hero. I literally grew up thinking there was no one closer to God than he, no one wiser, no one more knowledgeable about the Word. When he fell away, I became jaded with the church, unable to trust others, and really doubtful of the power of God. Through all of the drama, I've always stayed with the Lord, because, where else would I go, really? But I was shaken. Angry. Bitter. Out of the hurt in my heart, my prayer was literally, "God, make everything in their lives go wrong so that they HAVE to turn to you."
But this year, the way I prayed changed. My new year's resolution was to NOT let God alone in my prayers for my dad- to approach the throne every day and keep my requests before Him, like Abraham begging God for the salvation of the righteous few in Sodom. God filled me with an unexplainable desire for mercy and His lovingkindness in their lives. Instead of praying doom, I began entreating God for grace, for favor, for kindness, for undeserved blessing in their lives. I prayed that He would spare them. I prayed that, as they sat in the "pig pen" of prodigal living, their minds would drift toward the goodness of home, toward the safety of the father's house, toward the love in their Abba's heart toward them. As I prayed this way, my heart became so tender toward my family, that all I wanted was to really, truly love them.
I believe that because the way I prayed changed, the course of my family's lives changed. I know that many of you have prayed for my family too, and I'm so grateful for that! But the way I prayed changed my heart and my approach with them. Loving them became enough, whether they were kind to me or not, whether they showed any interest in the things of God or not.
I'm so excited to say that God is doing a mighty work in my father's life. He's returned to the Lord. My dad spent the day studying the Word on Saturday. He told me that God gave him his first message for the first time he preaches, whenever that might be. And, since he's attending the Men's Experience in two weeks, I know God is going to continue this amazing work in His heart and life. It's even trickled down into my three-year-old niece, who loves to go to Sunday school, is captivated by Bible stories, and prays spontaneously in the car! I'm still believing for my brother's salvation, but it's just a matter of time, baby!
Those of you who have unsaved relatives, please feel a renewed sense of hope for your family. God loves them like a father longing for the return of his lost son. It's only a matter of time before they'll realize that the safety and love of home is better than the "freedom" of being the world. My story isn't over, but it's going from "glory to glory." And so will yours.
1:53 PM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - R
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
I Wonder How Long...
Repost from my Myspace Blog, 2-1-08
Today I read a scripture that, for a time, was the only verse in the Bible that I felt rang true to where I was in my life:
Isaiah 1:16 From the sole of your foot to the top of your head there is no soundness— only wounds and welts and open sores, not cleansed or bandaged or soothed with oil.
And I had a thought: If I had stayed in Indiana, never moved to Florida, never been to Heartland, and most of all, never attended an Experience, I wonder how much longer it would have take me to find true, complete healing for my wounded, broken, oozing inner self? I know God would have done it eventually, because He's faithful and He wants me to have abundant life. But when you obey, even when you don't want to, I think He puts you on the fast-track to healing.
Today I read a scripture that, for a time, was the only verse in the Bible that I felt rang true to where I was in my life:
Isaiah 1:16 From the sole of your foot to the top of your head there is no soundness— only wounds and welts and open sores, not cleansed or bandaged or soothed with oil.
And I had a thought: If I had stayed in Indiana, never moved to Florida, never been to Heartland, and most of all, never attended an Experience, I wonder how much longer it would have take me to find true, complete healing for my wounded, broken, oozing inner self? I know God would have done it eventually, because He's faithful and He wants me to have abundant life. But when you obey, even when you don't want to, I think He puts you on the fast-track to healing.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
A little hymn
Reposted from my myspace blog, 1-26-08
Keep my heart close to the cross
To that precious moment when I was redeemed
Keep my heart close to the cross
And close to the one who gave His life for me
Keep my heart close to
The beautiful mystery
That swallowed my history
And brought me to friendship with God
Keep my heart close to the cross
Keep my eyes fixed on the cross
Though the world beckon me, "Turn away!"
Keep my eyes fixed on the cross
So in my weakest hour I may not stray
Keep my eyes fixed on
The passion and pain
Of the Lamb that was slain
So that I could have friendship with God
Keep my eyes fixed on the cross
Keep my heart close to the cross
To that precious moment when I was redeemed
Keep my heart close to the cross
And close to the one who gave His life for me
Keep my heart close to
The beautiful mystery
That swallowed my history
And brought me to friendship with God
Keep my heart close to the cross
Keep my eyes fixed on the cross
Though the world beckon me, "Turn away!"
Keep my eyes fixed on the cross
So in my weakest hour I may not stray
Keep my eyes fixed on
The passion and pain
Of the Lamb that was slain
So that I could have friendship with God
Keep my eyes fixed on the cross
Saturday, December 22, 2007
I Just Know
Repost from my myspace blog, 12-22-07
Last night I was at my friends' house, and a group of us were all standing there, just making small talk. One of my friends winked at the people in the room and said, "Someone in here is the most beautiful girl in the world. I wonder who that could be?" He looked around the room, then repeated his question as his little five-year-old daughter looked up at him and tugged his sleeve.
"It's me," she whispered into his ear.
He looked at her in surprise. "It's you?" he asked. "Well how did you know?"
She looked up at him with her sparkling blue eyes and said, "I just know."
As I watched this exchange, I couldn't help but tear up a little. What an amazing gift to give your daughter - the knowledge that she is simply the most precious creation in the world. There was no question in this little girl's mind, no wonder... it was settled. The love, adoration, and acceptance that her father gives to her makes her sure of the fact that, among all others, she is the most beautiful, the most prized, and the most exquisite. She just knew.
The world hasn't yet had the opportunity to steal that knowledge from her - she hasn't been faced with the assault on self-worth that hurting people and the media bring. But something tells me that, even when the world lies to her and tries to tell her that what she is is not enough, she'll refuse to believe. What her daddy thinks of her is the only truth.
She's secure in her Father's love
Last night I was at my friends' house, and a group of us were all standing there, just making small talk. One of my friends winked at the people in the room and said, "Someone in here is the most beautiful girl in the world. I wonder who that could be?" He looked around the room, then repeated his question as his little five-year-old daughter looked up at him and tugged his sleeve.
"It's me," she whispered into his ear.
He looked at her in surprise. "It's you?" he asked. "Well how did you know?"
She looked up at him with her sparkling blue eyes and said, "I just know."
As I watched this exchange, I couldn't help but tear up a little. What an amazing gift to give your daughter - the knowledge that she is simply the most precious creation in the world. There was no question in this little girl's mind, no wonder... it was settled. The love, adoration, and acceptance that her father gives to her makes her sure of the fact that, among all others, she is the most beautiful, the most prized, and the most exquisite. She just knew.
The world hasn't yet had the opportunity to steal that knowledge from her - she hasn't been faced with the assault on self-worth that hurting people and the media bring. But something tells me that, even when the world lies to her and tries to tell her that what she is is not enough, she'll refuse to believe. What her daddy thinks of her is the only truth.
She's secure in her Father's love
Monday, August 13, 2007
The Waiting
repost from my myspace blog, 8-13-07
Today was the first day for teachers at school today, and as I prepared to go in this morning, I must admit I wasn't feeling as enthusiastic about entering the coming school year as I probably should. I love kids, and I'm good at teaching, but I know that it's not my final destination. So every time a new year starts, there's always this question- "When, Lord?" Or this one - "ANOTHER year, Lord?"
This morning in worship I was thinking about the discomfort of the waiting period; the time before one is fully launched into what she's called to do. And then it occurred to me that Jesus had a waiting period too. Here was a man, the Son of God, who had come to earth to change the very course of humanity, a man whose life would serve the greatest purpose ever known... and he was a carpenter. A laborer. A blue collar worker.
Prior to the start of His ministry, throughout the course of his twenties, did Jesus feel completely fulfilled, sanding boards and sawing planks? Probably not. He knew there was more for him. His purpose wasn't to come to earth to sand- it was to save.
Did he get impatient, knowing that carpentry wasn't all He was supposed to do? Absolutely not. At the wedding of Cana, he could have jumped up and volunteered His miraculous power, but His mom was the one who prompted him. He had to remind his mother that his time hadn't come yet. He wasn't about to jump the gun and launch himself into his ministry prematurely. He knew that there was an appointed time.
Did Jesus lose sight of the fact his time hadn't come yet, that this was just a part of the waiting required before the perfect time arrived? Certainly not. While Jesus was working, he increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men (Luke 2:52). And I'm positive he knew the value of the work he was doing, not because making a bench would change the world, but the life lessons learned WHILE making the bench would develop Him, and then He would change the world.
So that's where I'm at. Maybe putting up a bulletin board or grading a paper doesn't give me an amazing feeling of purpose fulfillment. But the things that Jesus is teaching me while I grade a year's worth of papers are preparation for the launch into the next phase. So this year, I determine to eke out every drop of whatever it is that God has to show me; to find value in the waiting.
Today was the first day for teachers at school today, and as I prepared to go in this morning, I must admit I wasn't feeling as enthusiastic about entering the coming school year as I probably should. I love kids, and I'm good at teaching, but I know that it's not my final destination. So every time a new year starts, there's always this question- "When, Lord?" Or this one - "ANOTHER year, Lord?"
This morning in worship I was thinking about the discomfort of the waiting period; the time before one is fully launched into what she's called to do. And then it occurred to me that Jesus had a waiting period too. Here was a man, the Son of God, who had come to earth to change the very course of humanity, a man whose life would serve the greatest purpose ever known... and he was a carpenter. A laborer. A blue collar worker.
Prior to the start of His ministry, throughout the course of his twenties, did Jesus feel completely fulfilled, sanding boards and sawing planks? Probably not. He knew there was more for him. His purpose wasn't to come to earth to sand- it was to save.
Did he get impatient, knowing that carpentry wasn't all He was supposed to do? Absolutely not. At the wedding of Cana, he could have jumped up and volunteered His miraculous power, but His mom was the one who prompted him. He had to remind his mother that his time hadn't come yet. He wasn't about to jump the gun and launch himself into his ministry prematurely. He knew that there was an appointed time.
Did Jesus lose sight of the fact his time hadn't come yet, that this was just a part of the waiting required before the perfect time arrived? Certainly not. While Jesus was working, he increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men (Luke 2:52). And I'm positive he knew the value of the work he was doing, not because making a bench would change the world, but the life lessons learned WHILE making the bench would develop Him, and then He would change the world.
So that's where I'm at. Maybe putting up a bulletin board or grading a paper doesn't give me an amazing feeling of purpose fulfillment. But the things that Jesus is teaching me while I grade a year's worth of papers are preparation for the launch into the next phase. So this year, I determine to eke out every drop of whatever it is that God has to show me; to find value in the waiting.
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