What I Believe About Leading Worship

For the past two weeks I've been on vocal rest, as ordered by my doctor. I had been feeling achy and strange after singing, so I visited an ENT and they told me that I showed signs of what could develop into nodules, a singer's worst nightmare. For the past two weeks, I've still stood in my place on the stage every service, four services a week. I've held the mic. I've been under the lights. But I haven't been able to make a sound. This whole experience has been one of the most challenging things I've ever gone through. I don't think I'd trade it for anything, though, because it's given me an opportunity to really think about what I believe when it comes to worship.

I believe that for too long, we've embraced a celebrity mentality when it comes to leading worship in a church. The idea of "being a worship leader" or "leading worship" has been glamorized. After all, it has all the makings of celebrity - stage, lights, music, microphone. The church isn't American Idol, however. This isn't our "one shot" for fame.

In this time of silence, I've realized what it means to really lead worship. True worship has nothing to do with the leader at all. To make it so is to make yourself an idol before the people. Sure, a great worship leader facilitates people entering into the presence of God. The perfect worship, in my opinion, is when every person and every heart is so captivated by the presence of God that they can't help but sing, when each person so embraces the expression of absolute adoration to the Lord that they reach for a unity with the sound of heaven.

You know those moments when the people with mics stop singing because the worshipers in the crowd are singing so loudly, so passionately, that they carry the song themselves? THAT is what every worship leader should aim for. It's not all about everyone hearing how great you can sing, or the ad-libs that you do, or the perfect words that you think of to say during the instrumental. The best worship leader is the one who can stop singing and let the people worship on their own. The best worship leader works himself or herself out of a job.

A few months ago we were singing "Revelation Song" in church and as I worshiped I saw something in the spirit that stirred me. It was as if the walls of our church building evaporated into thin air and instead of being limited by four walls, the entire stage was surrounded, front and back, side to side, by thousands and thousands of people singing "Holy holy holy/is the Lord God Almighty/Who was and is and is to come." And in the center of it all was this shining, bright light. The sound of the worship was overwhelming, deafening. And Jesus' glory was in the center of it all.

This silent experience has shown me how selfish I am, and how driven by my own agenda, my pride, my own need for position and place and recognition that I am. It's shown me how I've put myself in the center of my worship. When I sing well, when my performance meets my own standards, then I'm happy and somehow worship was "great." When I've failed, my voice cracked, my words forgotten, then worship was "bad." My worship has been about ME - idolatry in its purest form. I've had to repent many times in the past two weeks. I've wept with sorrow for wrong attitudes, wrong thoughts.

Funny, I've been able to worship in a deep, true way without singing a word. My heart has taken on the words to the songs. Instead of thinking about the way things sound, I've been thinking on the beauty of God, the attributes of his character. How stunning He is.

I'll probably be able to talk and sing in the next few days. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow, and he'll let me know. But I approach the day that I'll be able to use my voice again with trepidation, because I want all of the things I've learned, all of the things God's showed me, all of this burning in me to STAY. To stay real. To transform my future and WHATEVER God has for me in the future and in His church, whether it's leading worship or scrubbing toilets. He is the in middle of it all. And here am I. At His service. Totally available.