Song of Songs

As a single girl, this time of year, right around Valentine's Day, can be pretty rough. Recently, every time I see a happy couple arm-in-arm, or, honestly, even couple on TV kiss or hug, I get a little twinge inside, a little longing for what they have. I've never had a significant other over a Valentines Day, so I don't know what it's like to get roses, or chocolates, or a mushy card or a love poem on this Hallmark holiday. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I promise! That's lame, and I try to avoid it. But there is a certain "missing" that goes on. Like, when you see a little blonde-haired girl playing with a beautiful labrador retriever puppy in fields of green grass in advertisements, and you think, "Wow, if I had that puppy, my life would be so complete." But then when you get the dog you discover it isn't that smart, and it pees on the carpet and chews up your favorite shoes and electronics and never quite lives up to the ideal that you had formed in your mind of what "having a puppy" would be like.

(I'm not comparing having a man to having a dog. Two totally different things!!! What I'm trying to say is that a lot goes into having a relationship. It's not always as perfect and pretty as it looks on TV.)

I've had a minor preoccupation with the book Song of Solomon since last April. I picked up a commentary on it by Watchman Nee and, as he dissected the book word by word, sentence by sentence, it really captivated me. Recently I began reading it from the beginning again, and every time I do, I'm overwhelmed with the way God tells me how much He loves me through this book! And it's even better than commercial-perfect love. The world can't even write it this good!

My friend Annie cracks me up. She said recently, "I don't read Song of Solomon! That book is for married people!" Yeah, I guess it could be. But to me, it's like the most intimate of Hallmark cards- you know, the ones that have really long, specific messages on the inside, like, I still want to give our love a chance even though the kids you had with your first wife hate me.

Song of Solomon is a conversation between God and me. It's so honest.

Here's a girl, concerned with how she looks, putting all her faults out there, giving this guy every excuse to walk away, almost expecting him to do so.

She says "I am dark..." but her friends say, "You are lovely."

She says, "Don't look at me!" He says, "You are beautiful."

She says, "I have been so busy looking after everything else in life, I haven't looked after myself." He says, "Exactly what and who you are is all I want." (Well, he also compares her to a horse, but... stay with me here!)

He looks at her for what she is. When she says she is simply a common flower, a lily of the valley, nothing special, nothing precious, he says, "You are a lily that has grown up among thorns, in deep and difficult places. You are uncommon, special, unique."

He asks her to come away. And as they walk up the rocky hillside, he asks her to sing to him, because he treasures the sound of her voice. It's the sweetest sound to him.

And when she opens up her mouth to sing to him, she sings a song that voices her concern about their relationship, a song that says that perhaps the little things, the overlooked things, may spoil their love. She can tell him what's on her heart and what worries her without fear. Their love is solid, secure, stable. There's no question that he'll leave because she exposes too much of her heart, or because he sees the real her.

I am this girl. This guy is the One to which I've devoted my life, the One my soul loves. February 14 will come and go. And it'll come again, undoubtedly, and I may or may not have an earthly love to share it with.

But I'm sure of and secure in the One my soul loves. So, man or not, puppy or not, I'm good. And I'm loved.